Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
