She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
