If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
