Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
