She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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