We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
