remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
