so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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