xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
