Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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