Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
