just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
