I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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