end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just had sex bonerless
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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