bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
