So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
