Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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