its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think people are normalizing furries
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
