i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
