I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
