I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
