I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
