he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
