I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
