Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
