dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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