Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
