i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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