is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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