Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
