Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Mom said you looked used
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
