drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
