You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
