Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
