if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
