Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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