There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
