Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You can't special order awesome
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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