we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
