Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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