i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
