VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
