Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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