Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
