Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
