do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
