I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
