Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(252): View more from North Carolina

so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us

(205): View more from Alabama

that didnt stop you

(252): View more from North Carolina

nope

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(248): View more from Michigan

i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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(954): View more from Florida

The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

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(801): View more from Utah

Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.

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(916): View more from California

I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.

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(646): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

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(817): View more from Texas

I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.

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