on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's never too late to be topless.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
