I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
