how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
